Cue Cards, Please?
November 20, 2009 Last week we looked at cakes that took labeling a bit too far. Today, let's look at the other side of the coin: when cakes really need to give us that hint.
See, once you read the text, and figure out that this has something to do with some sort of ski, it suddenly all makes sense! (Sort of.)
[smacking forehead] Oh, of course! It's TNT! How could I have missed that?
Now, if you're going to give us hints, Wreckerators, it helps if they're at least somewhat legible:
Do you KNOW how long I squinted at this thing, trying to figure out why there were black jellyfish on it? Well, do you?!?(No, I am not going to tell you what it is. I squinted hard for that knowledge, peeps.)
It also helps if the hints are spelled correctly:
So, we've got a fat anthropomorphic top lip with arms, and it says "Gone Crabiy." Oh kaaaay. (Well, I guess the word "crab" IS in there...)
Then there are the more cryptic hints:
"Cakes" like this (and I say "cakes" because, as you all know, cupcake cakes are NOT real cakes) can help us brush up on our deductive reasoning skills. Observe:
1. There is a number on the shape, and the cake board reads "Win! Win!"
2. Numbers and winning are often associated with sports.
3. Therefore, the "cake" is a stretched out, radioactive uterus.
Meg, Paula B., Robbie, Kaycee M., & Julie M., with that 8 on there the temptation to make some kind of OctoMom crack is rather strong - but I resisted, just for you.
You're welcome.
- Related Wreckage: Say What?
Reader Comments (180)
That says Graveyard?! I think... That's... truly disturbing.
i think that the graveyard cake is a Halloween cake and the jelly fish are ghosts, the blobs of frosting are supposed to be fog and the fancy pink around the edges was supposed to be orange (a coloring mishap... well anyway that's my interpretation :)
Are you not sure that the orange thing isn't a radioactive robot from an Ed Wood movie?
I am confused, but craving sugar.
From someone who only cares about sports enough to understand her husband...I'm gonna have to say the last one is University of Tennessee. That color is obviously UT, except for the black outlining which really should be white unless this "cake" was from Halloween when they played in Orange and Black uniforms which did look pretty cool. But a uterus is cool too.
agirlinherkitchen.blogspot.com
It's funny, I used to pride myself on my lack of appreciation for the male form. (Or, to take it back to my teenage years: I wouldn't have been caught dead ogling a guy, because I "didn't know how".) But - am I the only one? - the last one was obvious to me. It's a footballer! He has no head, of course. And his legs aren't well-separated. But his abs are ripped.
Right?
wv: disterso - Something about the colour of disterso reminded me of fake tan ...
looks like the WW Hungar Monster
The first one has something to do with Obama's love of sking? I think?
Everyone is right the one is a jellyfish graveyard. It makes me wonder why you would need to commemorate that in cake. Is it a new marine biology finding?
And the last one made me wonder why so many badly made CCC's *patooee* look like uterusses? And that made me wonder if that was a word of if it was like Rhinocerusses? Are they Uteri?
I'm with k-10b in hoping that the jellyfish cookie isn't The Graveyard Book-related. That book deserves better treatment.
I'm REALLY glad that somebody else thought giant orange uterus.
Is the top lip/crab holding a tin opener? Does that mean the cake is celebrating a trip to the supermarket to purchase pre-tinned crustacea?
@The 'splorin' Wolfies: I had the exact same experience the first time I read this blog. Tears, actual tears. I had to read the old post in two separate sittings because I couldn't breath from laughing so much.
It says "Graveyard" in poopy script.
The first one is a jetski (skidoo).
The last one is a Texas T for some kind of Texas team.
The second one just looks like Frylock to me lol!
When I saw that orange cake I immediatly thought 'crossbow'
"And for the last, maybe I've already lived in Austin too long, but I fear that might be supposed to be some kind of Longhorns thing?"
Oooooohhhhhhhhh, okay, now THAT makes more sense. Except for that pesky 8.
"Not so much a UT cake, as a UTI cake."
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA!
To be fair, they did a better job drawing a jet ski than I would have. Terrible, terrible stuff.
the cake says ''graveyard'' and the jellyfish are headstones with RIPs on it, right?
I'm glad I'm not the only one who immediately saw a uterus.
Wow, that took forever and a day....but Graveyard! Now I see the RIPs....but ridiculous. And TNT? REally? Looks more like gigantic popcorn to me.
it disturbs me that i read the "illegible" captions off the RIP cake just after a few seconds...and i think those are headstones...those that seem to be jelly fish caps...right? or am i going insane...?
So... are professional cake "decorators" always high, or what? You had better hope that the nation's grocery store bakeries don't start doing mandatory drug tests, or this blog will be a lot less interesting!
There has never, in the history of deductive reasoning, been a logical conclusion as the one you put forth.
Ok, no one seems to have suggested this, so here goes.
I think the last cake is actually supposed to be a Kobe Bryant cake - the Lakers wear a kind of yellowy-orange uniform with purple trim, and he wears number 8. Also, that looks more like a basketball-type posture than any other sport to me.
That's my guess. Jen? Can you weigh in?
WV: bunje - some of these wrecks are so bad they make me want to bunje jump without a knot.
The orange cupcake thingy kind of reminded me of what a dog or cat's uterus looks like when it's full of offspring. How warped is that, LOL!
The jellyfish one was just plain weird...you never fail to come up with new and surprising stuff. Keep up the good work!
It's a playground of course.
Nevan
The "black jelly fish " are gravestones that say RIP and the illegible scribble says "graveyard" !
WTF, and of course I mean What the freak, because my kids are watching.
No twilight?
No new moon?
No edward or apples,
or even
SPARKLES!!!!!!
I'm very dissapointed. We've come to use cakewrecks as our holiday calendar at our house. And most houses around us would agree that this is a holiday. The local, small, 10 screen theater had Jacob and all his new buffness on all 10 screens!
So, um.
Jen, we like you and all. but we're going to have to take a break of you can't keep up with book worm nerdy holidays.
It's not me, it's you
That last one is too radioactive to look at w/o safety goggles and ear protection.
Amy B-H
Graveyard! Yay, I can read bubble cursive letters!
That crab looks like a taco with arms.
LOL! Thank you, Jen for making me laugh today! (it was the octomom comment that put it over the top of the chuckle scale.)
So the last one is a Tennessee Volunteers cake so that would explain why it sucks at life.
Mm, orange uterus cakes, yummy yum.
Honestly, on the last one I saw a uterus, and the words, Wow! 25in!
I'm thinking, Oh my God, huge baby!
Those poor jellyfish are on their way to heaven! In a little jellyfish graveyard!
And I don't know why you'd need a size 8 IUD, and how you win with that, but Go Team!
I didn't read ALL of the comments because there are so many. So, I don't know if anyone said it yet but the last one, I'm assuming, is suppose to be Cal Ripkin's jersey. The graveyard thing was a good call. I couldn't see it. Thanks for another funny one.
Ok, the first one I think is a Ski-Doo water thing. The squinty one is a graveyard (or so it says, I don't think it qualifies?. The TNT I still don't see, looks more like a wacky basketball hoop. And the last one is a jersey for a very very skinny player. Or so I hope.
wv-porlymon "After looking at those cakes, my eyes feel real porlymon."
Ooh, ohh, I know! I know! It's black jellyfish playing volleyball in a graveyard! Right?
That's what I would want for my birthday...
Dude, that jellyfish cake is a graveyard. It took me the better part of 30 seconds to figure it out.
Ouch! These were painful to look at. I could not figure out the jelly fish one and finally cheated by looking at the comments, I just couldn't put that much effort in on a Friday night. I'm pretty sure the first one is supposed to be a ski boat.
Lizard said...
The third one down, it's a graveyard. It says graveyard one way and RIP on the tombstones the other way. I am so glad I figured that out, that would have bothered me so much!
Isn't a crab arthropodic, not anthropodic? Seriously, which one is it?
I'm fairly sure that last one is Hungry from Weight Watchers fame. http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2009/02/this-is-how-you-show-hungry-whos-boss.html
I guess I'm the only one who, when looking at wreck number 1, saw a sideways horse head with a freaky stripey bridle. I've looked at the darn thing three times and that's still the only thing I can see. As a jetski it's a big fail, but it would make a half way decent horse head if it was all brown and the bridle was a bit less...um...bondagey.
That orange CCC is totally a headless body builder. The 8 indicates that instead of the normal 6-pack abs, he has an 8-pack.
I'll be probably considered wrong...But maybe the cookie cake is a reference to Steve Irwin...Jelly fish and graveyard both mixed together?? (im sure you could find a ray in that mess)
Now, how much toothpaste it takes to get that orange off your teeth after you dare eat the ..uterus..."cake"?
seriously spent a good amount of time sounding out "ummm gravey... yard." RIGHT. graveyard.
Your commentary is so hilarious that at times the mere set-up to a joke has me laughing in stitches before I'm even anywhere near the punch line!!!!
I have this blog permanently open in my web browser tabs, so I can refresh it every chance I get and receive my day's quota of delicious laughter.
Thank you for being so clever, and sharing it with all online!!!
*GROAN*
When I saw the last one, I pleaded with the gods above that it wasn't a University of Tennessee "Power T". Then I read the comments...my worst fears were confirmed.
I am a student of this school. Please, PLEASE do not think that whoever did this "cake" (HOCK-patooie!) is a representative of the Volnation.
I am so embarrassed...
...you mean that last one -isn't- a uterus? Maybe I look at too much etsy stuff...