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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Sunday
Oct042009

Tour Wreck - UPDATE

Hi all,

Unfortunately, disaster has struck our CW "World" Tour: John is currently in the ICU in a Dallas hospital with pneumonia, and now I've been hit with the sick stick as well. I had hoped to make it to the Austin show today by hopping a flight out this morning, but, well, let's just say my "gut instinct" is to stay near the "porcelain throne." Heh. (Ug.)

I cannot tell you how heart sick I am over this.

As it stands right now, we are canceling the Austin and Kansas City tour stops. Depending on how John and I are doing, we may still be able to make it to Bethesda and/or New York City, but it's too soon to say. Stay tuned to my Twitter feed for all the gory details, and I'll also update here on the blog when I know more.

Thank you all for your well-wishes, and please know that I am so truly sorry. (Especially for the bakers - guys, I promise I will make this up to you somehow.) A re-scheduling is not completely out of the question, but we'll just have to see what happens.

In the meantime, prayers, warm wishes, good thoughts, rain dances, etc., are all very much appreciated. It really stinks to be sick and alone away from home.

UPDATE: More bad news: in addition to the pneumonia, John has developed a staph infection in his blood. He's in critical condition, and so won't be leaving the ICU - much less the hospital - for many days. I'm moving to a hotel closer to the hospital so I can be with him, and I'm afraid this means that the rest of the tour is off. :(

Thank you all again for being so wonderful. Believe it or not, John is still moderating your comments from his hotel bed (talk about an addiction...), so please comment here if you'd like to say hello to him. Better yet: tell him your best joke. He's bored, and needs the laughs right now.

(Hey all! Anne-Marie here! Don't worry, I'm robust and healthy up here in Maine, publishing your comments like crazy! 334 as of a minute ago! John, Jen and all their little viral buddies are loving all the jokes and well wishes. Thanks so much!)

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Reader Comments (1227)

I get it --- John wants someone to bake him a cake wreck "get well soon" cake! I shudder to think what some people could come up with!

Sending get well wishes to both of you!

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I know how boring a hospital can be! Here's my favorite joke of all time (and just about the only one I know). What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall?

... Dam!

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlyssa

Hang in there, John!

My best joke: What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?

Dr. Dre!

-- Rachelle

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What's the difference between swine flu & bird flu?
With one, you get a tweetment, and with the other, you get an oinkment!

What would Mozart be doing if he were alive today?
Probably screaming and clawing at the inside of his coffin.

I hope that BOTH of you get better soon!

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKacy Southerland

So, the pope is coming to the States and there has been a limo driver arranged to pick him up. When the pope arrives, the limo driver asks him, "Is there anything at all I can do for you?" and the pope replies, "Well, there is one thing. I haven't driven in forever and I'd really like to."
So, of course, the driver obliges and sits in the back while the pope drives. Well, the pope gets a little out of hand and starts driving way over the speed limit and gets pulled over. The policeman comes up to the window and, seeing the driver, immediately calls his supervisor, saying, "I've just pulled over a very important person," and the supervisor says, "Well who is it? The governor?"
The policeman replies, "No, more important."
The supervisor guesses again. "The president?"
"No, more important." replies the policemen.
The supervisor gets frustrated and finally asks, "Well who is it then?!"
The policeman says, "I don't know who it is, but he's got the pope for a driver."

Haha. Get well soon, both of you!

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMallory

yikes! get better soon! lay down and eat bonbons and turkey sandwiches! soak in the attention! GET BETTER!

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMarie Says Yes

I've been reading your updates on Twitter and sending good thoughts to both of you.

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterParadigm

Here's hoping and praying that John is back on his feet very, very soon, and you take good care of yourself.

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercep

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.

Ba dum TSHH!

Rest up & recover. Take as much time as you need!

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKj

Eight blondes and a brunette are hanging from a rope off a cliff. They realize that if one of them does not let go, the rope will break and they will all die. They start debating among themselves as to who the unlucky person will be and finally the brunette speaks up. She gives a heartfelt speech about how she's lived a good life and how she will sacrifice herself so that the others can live. All the blondes applauded.

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAbby

Dear Jen and John,
I have been reading for a while but never commented.Sorry that my first comment is the occassion of your illness. I am praying for your full recovery John and peace for you Jen while you are far from home and John is in the hospital.
Karen Phillips,Dover Delaware.

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Goodness me. Praying for you both. xxx

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlice

Ahh!!! Get well SOON! That is no fun. And please tell us that being in the ICU isn't as scary as it sounds? Can't help but be super worried.

I don't have any good jokes to tell you and make you laugh... unless you are a band nerd. I have a bajillion musician jokes. :) Sorry!!

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSariah

I'm so sorry to hear you're both sick. I hope you both feel better soon and that John has a speedy recovery and is out out the ICU quickly. Thanks for a wonderful blog! -K

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

You'll both be in my thoughts. Here's hoping for a speedy recovery! *hugs*

As for jokes...it's been a long time since I heard this one, so the telling might not be accurate. Still, I hope it'll be worth a chuckle.

It was a couple's wedding night, and the bride was especially nervous because she'd heard stories about people finding out that the honeymoon suite at the hotel where she and her new husband were staying had been bugged. She refused to go to bed until they'd searched the whole room. Eventually, her husband lifted up a corner of a rug in the middle of the floor, and lo and behold, there was a little round object secured there with a few screws. He unscrewed it and tossed it out the window.

The next morning, the hotel manager paid the couple a visit, asking if they'd had a good night, if they'd been pleased with the service they'd received and if they approved of the room. Slightly offended at this apparent invasion of their privacy, the husband answered that yes, they'd had a good night, and why was he asking all those questions?

The manager replied, "Because the couple in the room below yours complained that their chandelier fell on them last night."

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterZillah

Im sorry to read that. Please receive from me a virtual cake with the shape of two lovely lungs in fluorescent colors to sweeten your day. Get well soon.

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlessandra

Hope both of you get well very soon. I know it's difficult being cooped up, especially in a hospital. You're in our prayers.

Forgive the R rating of this joke. Thought it might give you a chuckle if you haven't heard it already. =)

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, 'Here's to spending the rest
of me life, between the legs of my wife!'
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, 'I won the prize for the best
toast of the night.'
She said, great & what was your toast?'
John said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church
beside me wife.'

'Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!' Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the
street corner.

The man chuckled leeringly and said, 'John won the prize the other
night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.'

She said, 'Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You
know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell
asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him
come.'

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Best joke, best joke...
What is green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of tree would kill you?

A pool table.

Sorry. I know, SO lame. Hope all gets better fast. Make her play cards with you - I always make my husband play cards with me, even when I was in labor with our first. Every time a contraction hit, I accused him of cheating.
:)

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRaspberry

Sorry to hear about John. Laughter really is the best medicine though!
Here's my favorite pirate joke:

A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender says, "Hey there - I can't help but notice you have a steering wheel sticking out of your pants"

The pirate says, "Aye, I know. It's driving me nuts"

Best wishes for a speedy recovery!
StellaKY

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterstellablue

I hope you're both feeling better soon!

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTami

How horrible to have such a dreadful tourwreck! Here's wishing you a speedy recovery. We have you in our thoughts and prayers!

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKim

Prayers for a speedy recovery on both parts!

A woman in her late 60s decides she wants a baby. She visits her doctor for a check-up and is assured that everything will be fine, so she and her husband can start trying.

When they don't hit "pay dirt" after a few months, she insists that her husband go get checked out. Good man that he is, he does. His doctor gives him a jar for the appropriate specimen, and is instructed to bring the jar back in the morning.

The next day, the man places the jar on the counter with the receptionist.

"Sir, this jar is empty."

"I know. ::sigh:: I tried it with my left hand, nothing happened. I tried with my right hand, nothing. My wife - she tried with her left hand and her right hand. Still nothing! She even tried it with her teeth in and her teeth out and we STILL couldn't get the lid off this jar!!"

If nothing else, you probably laughed. Even a little.

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

Wow! John, I hope you start recovering soon! Jen, I hope you start feeling better as well!

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wishing you both a very quick recovery. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterOklahoma Granny

Sending prayers for both of you!!
Get better and don't stress, your fans understand.

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Get better soon guys! I was oh so pleased to see my birthday cake on here last week (Aligod ha ha).

Thanks for the laughs!
- Alison P.

P.S. Did you hear about the two antennas who got married? The ceremony was awful but the reception was great! :)

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlison P

I'm so sorry to hear you BOTH got sick on this awesome tour! talk about a wreck...

John: GET WELL SOON! and thereifixedit.com makes me lol, if you haven't seen it already :)

my usual "get well soon" site suggestion is actually cakewrecks, because it's one of my favorites since i'm sick at home a lot myself.

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

So so sorry this happened it Texas! I can't help but think if you'd stopped in Houston instead of Big D, this might not have happened! Take care of yourselves, prayers for you and John. Thanks for the smiles every day.

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Jen and John, Hope you feel better soon! Should we send cake? :D

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMolly

Ah, what a bummer! I know you guys were having a blast. John, get well soon! We're praying for you!

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

A couple of days ago, I was bummed that you were in Dallas and I was only a couple hours away (in OK, ptooey TX) and couldn't make it.

Today, I'm bummed that ya'll are having to go through this while so far from home.

My thoughts and prayers are with you both for a speedy recovery.

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGoldielox

Best wishes for the both of you. Hopefully on your way to a speedy recovery.

God Bless

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Prayers for wellness, for the fundage to pay for the hotel and hospital bills, and a safe trip home. - J.G.

Today we had church, thought Id put this in while you are bored.It was a great talk about the wonderful Bible and all the ways it ties into Jesus' story while He was on earth. Kinda crazy how they were talking about Him for so many years before He even came to earth.
Why are we so blessed to have a man come and die for us? Crazy.

Joke: Two cannibals walked into a bar. They order a clown from the menu. After they start to dig in one cannibal says, "Does this meat taste FUNNY to you?? "

WV: Peppres: As read on a cake wreck: Hott as " peppres "

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

John, I hope you get better soon! In the meantime, here is my favorite joke - A woman walks into a bar and orders a double entendre... and the bartender gives it to her.

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterOcean Star

Meghan used my stick joke, so I'll share my second favorite with you:

Q: What's green and wears ice skates?

A: Peggy Phlegm.

How about some get-well-soon humor?

Q: What's worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?

A: A centipede with sore feet.

Q: Where does a rabbit go when it's sick?

A: To the hop-spital.

:) Lame, I know. If you want something funnier, you're going to have to get well, because I am no competition for CakeWrecks.

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterandie

I feel so bad for you both! Being sick is bad enough without being stuck away from the comforts of home. I've heard from many different sources about the perils of American "health insurance", I hope that your husband pulls through quickly and your hospital bills don't send you into a tailspin.

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh no! I hope you both feel better right away! Best, sugariest wishes to you!

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMug-z

bad joke, but
What kind of bug tells time?
A clockroach
I know its a bad joke. i've been praying and i will until i recieve word that you're feeling better

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Aw man! I hope you guys get well soon! D: Lots of love and heart-felt wishes from Florida!

Here's some of my best jokes to hopefully liven up your day:
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Smells like carrots.

How come seagulls live by the sea?
Because if they lived by the bay they’d be bagels.

Why do cows wear bells?
‘Cause their horns don’t work.

How come the man driving the train got struck by lightning?
Well, he was a good conductor.

What’s the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
One goes “WHACK! Darn!” the other goes “Darn! WHACK!”

What’s the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts?
Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck.

There was this pirate walking around with a paper towel on his head, so I asked him, “What’s with the paper towel?”
“Arr, I got a bounty on me head.”

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenny H

We're so sorry to hear about you and John! Please, don't worry about us. It's far more important you both get better. Our thoughts are with you both.

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

I'm so sorry to hear this. I really hope that you and John feel better soon

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRegina

Jen & John,

I'm really sorry to hear that you've come down with something nasty. I'm sending my best wishes, good vibes and a nifty care package to you. (With the note I wrote, of course!)

I hope for a really speedy recovery, and for the staph to run far far away from the might that is John.

My mom also sends her best "get well" vibes.

Do get well, dears!

Sincerely,

Amy B.

P.S. I can't think of a joke right now, but I promise it'll be "funny" when I do.

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmelia

Best wishes for a speedy recovery!

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSunny

Get well soon!

What do you call a fly with no wings?

A walk.

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Jen and John, I'm so sorry you're both sick. Prayers are going up for your healing right now. Hope you can both get back on your feet soon and continue to entertain us all with your wit and cheer about the great wrecks you bring us each day.

Jenny Nelson
Fan

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Feel better!

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJes

So a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?"

I really hope you get better soon, John! Jen, I hope you're back on your feet again, soon, as well.

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJohn and Sarah Sperry

Oh no! John and Jen, I'm so sorry! Feel better, and follow all doctor's orders. I'm sending positive recovery thoughts.

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterknaegeli

What terrible news. Hope everyone is well again very very soon! Take care of yourselves.

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Sorry about that - the people of DFW just love y'all so much that we wanted to keep you a little longer. It was only supposed to be a mild head cold - honest! ;)

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

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