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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Oct202008

It's a Wreck Off!

Alright, 'fess up, decorators: you're TRYING to outdo each other with the Wrecky cupcake cakes, now, aren't you?

Well, you leave me no choice. That's right, folks:

IT'S A WRECK OFF.

Now, let's go over the rules again, shall we?

1) Both cakes must be of the same subject matter, and the same basic form or shape.
2) The "winning" Wreck shall be the subject of scorn at company water coolers the world over for exactly one business day: no more, no less.
3) There are no other rules.

And....Begin!


Well, folks, the Pastel Piranha came out swinging, taking full advantage of all that lumpy icing to better showcase its full pound of edible glitter. It's also showing its true colors "airbrush" style, and frankly, I think that creepy smiley face just may take home the prize today.

Ah, but wait, what's this?

OH! A devastating entrance has been made by Crazy Clash!


Wow, just look at that form. The hypnotic swirls, the glistening green slime, the death-pale torso! Crazy Clash may not float like a butterfly, my friends, but its design certainly is stinging my retinas like a particularly feisty bumblebee, I can tell you THAT.

What do you think, readers? Do we have a winner?

Michelle B. and Heather N., don't tell me this was staged: that just takes all the fun out of the sport.

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Reader Comments (227)

Definitely Crazy Clash....words can't describe the pure ugliness of it. Why don't the wings match?

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAlli

i have to go with crazy clash. it's like they got done with the psychedelic swirl wing and thought, "damn! that was hard! i think i'll just do some bright green on the other side. who'll notice?"

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterkerry

Wow. I just can't decide. They both take away my appetite. Yikes.

Your commenters have such good eyes---spotting the decorator's tip.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjoyce

Crazy Clash can add my vote to the decision.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGina

#2!!!

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAbbie

Crazy Crash for the win! (or is it for the lose?)

The pastels are at least stereotypical girly colors, and butterflies are girly, so that somehow makes it less of a wreck for me....

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commentertater1112

I've gotta go with Pastel Piranha. I mean seriously, glitter? Ew. And the fact that the color combination reminds me of when I ate a snow cone, got car sick, and threw up pastel colors. The second one looks sweet in a I-hired-a-10-year-old-to-decorate-for-me way.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJoy

Oh, no, number 2 is definitely the winner. I mean, loser. I mean, it's worse.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCatherine

The second one is definitely more wrecktastic. The first one sort of pretty ... in a "some really talented kindergartner colored it" sort of way.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKamity

#2 is worse - #1 at least has a consistent color pattern.

...And people ask me why I bat crazily when butterflies come near.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

Crazy Clash definitely.
Maybe it was made scary psychedelic looking keeping in mind the Halloween season

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterkillemall

It's a 5-4 decision, but I gotta go w/the 2nd one...there's the mismatched wings, the airbrush swirl, the teeny "Happy Birthday", and, the piece de resistance, the runaway cupcake on the bottom left

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterphillygirl64

I have never seen a 2 different colored wing butterfly, especially with swirls from the 60's psychadelic era-cool man cool!
Crazy Clash unanimous winner!

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermilk and cookeez

Crazy Clash wins as the bigger wreck. While it may be Megan's 9th birthday, it is apparent that 9 is not such an important age (or they don't really like her) based on the tiny 'Happy Birthday' on the left of the cake. Either that or the decorator was so concerned about spelling that they decided a pre-made greeting was the only way to avoid a huge mistake and end up on Cake Wrecks. My suspicion, however, is that it was neither of those things. I think this cupcake wreck was ordered for two people (remember Ashley & Glenn from June with the cheap mom?), and they forgot to put the other kid's name underneath the 'Happy Birthday' where they left a lot of space for it.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The one with the maggot looking creature down the center of what vaguely looks like the USA is the wreckiest. The glittery creation at least looks like something your average 6 year old might describe for a birthday cake...."And I want lotsa glittery, Mommy! And a butterfly in pink, and blue, and purple! Won't it be the prettiest evah?"

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJubilee

They both suck, but as to which sucks less? I guess it's #1.
so, #2 gets 86'd.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterblckbtch

Pastel Piranha Has at least some pretty writting and the colors sorta of match.

Crazy Clash... there is no color scheme and some very random placements...

My vote goes to Crazy Clash

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPoetry Sue

While Crazy Clash is certainly crazy... what butterflies has he/she been looking at??...I feel Pastel Piranha truly surpasses the clashing by sheer power of bad taste!

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Ferber Family

I have to side with cake #1. why? When I saw it, including the hideous grimace, the first thing I thought of was the daeth's head moth from "Silence of the Lambs."

"Cake, Clarisse? Later we can share some fava beans and chianti..."

--cpeter13

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

#1, because this wreck looks like it was done on purpose, not through lack of vision.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

#2 only because I know #2 would be blue for days after eating that.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSuzyhomemaker

For me Crazy Clash is the clear winner with number 2, if for no other reason that the particular wreck looks more like a maggot centered between two pieces of meat in various stages of decomp than a potential butterfly.

I wouldn't mind eating glitter... you know, when compared with eating a maggot.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

I vote for #1. For some reason it just looks worse to me.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAlex H.

I vote for the 2nd one. Poor Megan.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Crazy Clash wins in my mind. The nuclear-waste green is too much. LOL
~Amy B

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

LOVE the crazy clash! It's like a parody if itself... while the glitter lump is taking itself waaaay too seriously.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commentergratefulsned

I have to go with Crazy Clash.

Nowhere in nature will you find such an unbalanced pair of butterfly wings. At least the striped pair *kind of* match. (Kind of.)

Also, green slime icing should be reserved for boy's cakes and *never* be used in combination with a butterfly theme.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMichael

The #2 entry is obviously a reference to the current Presidential election. Traditional swing state Ohio on the right, Alaska on the left. Probably the mirror image would've been more accurate politically - that must've been an intended Wreckiness as well. #2 gets my vote!

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMore Frosting

I - but - green - why?

Megan REALLY likes swirls and REALLY likes swamp-coloured slime and just could make a decision? She'll have to improve her decision making skills by the time she reaches voting age.

Where's the logic? What's the reasoning? I mean...I just want to time travel back into the kitchen when this is being created.

I'd say Crazy Clash takes the proverbial cake.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKiley K.

Number 2. It's a mummy, the blob and that hypnosis swirl like in b movies.

With number one, there was no mistaking it was supposed to be a butterfly.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBella Bliss

Oh, wow. These two are baaaad CCCs. But Crazy Clash is by far the more horrendous. It's like Megan's mom was trying to reconcile her daughter's loves of cute little pink butterflies and Ghostbusters in one poorly done cake.

Am I the only one who thinks most CCCs would be better looking and less sugar-overload-gross if they were individually frosted and just arranged/pushed together?

~Lynette

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLynette

Definitely the second one... I mean, how do you make a perfectly innocent cake look unappetising like that? The green...ugh.

I think this one is winning (or losing) hands down.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLorna

Crazy clash wins!

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTerraD

#2 for sure. If they had kept the swirl going i would have voted #1, but whyyyyyyyyy green?

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Kolleen

Wow. That's a tough decision. Both entries have their...merits, for lack of a better word.

In the end, though, I have to vote for Crazy Clash. The Pastel Pirhana had a lot going against it, but not only do Crazy Clash's wings completely, well, clash, there's also the tiny smooshed up writing, the nine candle shoved halfway down some poor kid's overiced cupcake, and the generally sloppy execution. Did you notice how much icing had already run down the sides of the cupcakes on the edge?

Crazy Clash has definitely won my vote as well as my eternal derision.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTwistie

Definatly #2. The first one I am have definate doubts that it was a professional done cupcake wreck (frosting tip and colors in background) Buuuuuut, for not a professional cake, it still looks tons better than the second one which is awful and makes no sense! lol.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKate

The bottom cake is the more frightening and less edible-looking. EW

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHlynna

The second one. Although...Ugh. Can't it be a tie?

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermommyofthree

Number two!

Speaking of which, I rather grossly cannot help imagining what would happen to your number twos after eating all that pastel glitter icing.

It'd be like pooing a My Little Pony...

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGlory von Hathor

Crazy Clash - that's just plain crazy

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My vote is with Pastel Piranha as the very sight of it saddens me that and I enjoy cheering for the underdog.

Though Crazy Clash doesn't really make sense, what's with the the plastic "happy birthday" sign at the center of the pink ripples? It's as though the sign is leaking into the blue water, tainting it with toxic wrecky poison.

Okay, okay, I talked myself into it, I'm going to have to cast my final vote for Crazy Clash.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWhat's Her Face

oh dear.. they're both quite horrid but the rainbow glitter one is a winner

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJulie Julie Bo Boolie

Crazy Clash hands down. Pastel Piranha is pretty darn awful too, but that one at least somewhat makes sense. I don't understand Crazy Clash's at all... Why oh why is half green??

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMeg

#2, looks like a bad map of the US

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMeredith

Since when does putting a worm in the middle of a map of the united states make a butterfly?

Marianne
www.crochetbymommaj.etsy.com
crochetbymommaj.blogspot.com

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCrochet by Momma J

Gotta go with Crazy Clash. Butterflies are supposed to be symmetrical, and that thing breaks all three rules of symmetry.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterZim

My vote is for Crazy Clash.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSarah Ski

I'm *really* having trouble with the notion that these are "professional" (i.e. paid for)!

However, I'm going to take the leap of faith in CWs and vote. Now... Now I'm having trouble with which is worse, because every time I'm looking at one, I think "definitely this one" and then I look at the other and... same thing.

I'm going to go with what appears to be the underdog here (PP - #1) because while butterflies don't have mismatched wings, each of CC's might be - with some suspended disbelief - close. Diagonal stripes? Every time I look at them, they make me angry. Plus, the "Happy Birthday" encroaches on the body. I mean: "Think Ahea|"!

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterharmzie

Ow! Ow! My eyes...they'll never be the same again!!!!

They both are horrendous. Ugh.

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCharlene

Definitely crazy clash! The green is just disturbing!

October 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

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